I know that I am not writing about the things that I said I was going to write about but this is what is on my heart today and all week. I need to ramble for a while.
Wait, trust, rest and hope have been on my mind these last few days. I have had a life long theme of waiting for things to happen and because of that I have to work at the rest and trust part of my life. Then because of having problems trusting and resting I struggle with the hoping part of my life. I give up on there being any hope for my dreams to come true, my needs to me met or what ever else it might be at the time to be taken care of. NO, God has never let me down. No, God doesn’t know how to let me or any one else down for that matter. He gives us the desires of our heart. I know that he does this when we have the desires that He wants us to have and the desires that He gives us. Yet so often I feel like He is letting me down and not fulfilling the desires that I think are from Him. My biggest question these days is to know how to discern if a desire is from God or me. I never want my will to get in the way of God’s in my life. I want His will more than I want my way. His will is always right and when I lean on God instead of my own understanding I will get His best. I worry that I might miss His will if I’m not careful yet that can’t happen if I am truly trying to obey Him.
Then there is FAITH. How do you do what James 2 says to do? How do you work out faith when you don’t know for sure that what you are trusting in is from God? Should you try to work out the answer? Should you just sit back and do nothing about what you feel He says He wants in your life and let Him do it all for you? Where is the balance in all this? I know that I have a responsibility to pray every day all through the day. I also know that I am to keep doing the last thing that God told me to do until he tells me to do something else. I know also that every time I try to help God out I tend to get in the way of what He is trying to do in my life.
I guess that my conclusion for this whole thing is that I need to keep doing the things I know that God wants me to do and let Him take care of the rest in my life. As I am sure you all know THAT IS THE BIGGEST JOB OF ALL!!!!!! When you are a fixer like me you have a hard time with the whole taking your hands off and letting God put His hands on the situation. I guess it all comes down to letting God be Lord in my life.
Thank God that I have been trying to let Him be Lord in my life. Now having thought through all this I feel like I have been going in the right direction. Just wait, trust, rest, hope, and put my faith in Him. None are easy but doing all will put God where He needs to be in my life, right smack dab in the middle.
Last week my family and I went to Branson, MO for spring break. I had one thing that I wanted to do while I was there, SLEEP. Boy, I had no idea that we would have as wonderful a week as we had though.
We started out on Monday loading the van in the pouring rain. But it was ok because we were on our way to a wonderful week of fun and relaxation. I must say that for a little while I was nerves as we drove because we found out that the blower to the AC and all that other stuff wasn’t working and the windows got all fogged up so it was heard for Dad who was driving to see. But we drove out of the rain and soon were wishing for the clouds again because they afforded is a little protection from the hot sun. We made it with all our stuff, food and lots of soda. I’m not sure how I did it but I went out to buy soda for the trip and came back with way to much. The boys made sure that we took it all too. We could have just drunk soda the whole trip and still had some left (that was an exaggeration). We got the van unloaded and every thing put where it was to go, got into our swimming suit and went to the pool. IT WAS COLD!!!!!!! There is really no way around that fact. I think that we all turned blue. Joy and I got out before the rest of the family so we could get dinner ready and get a hot tub bath ready for when Joanna got back from the pool. I started the water running into the tub then went and took my shower. I figured that by the time I got done with my shower the tub would be almost full. When I got out the tub was only about four inches full. Joanna was back and wanted to get in so we both got in to the tub in our swim suit. Then figured out that the stopper wasn’t stopping the water, it was letting a little out all the time. So for the next 20 minute I sat ether on the stopper or with my hand holding it down. Joanna had a great bath! The next day Joy, Joanna and I decided to get in again (this was after we had maintenance up to fix the stopper!). This time joy and I got the bright idea to try this body mask on our arms. I kind of stank. Ok not kind of it just did, but we wanted to try it any way. By the way it was this lovely color of mud green. After you put it on the stuff has to dry. You know it’s really hard to have stuff dry in the bath tub. We had to set in the tub with our arms out in front of us for what seemed like forever. I had wanted the stuff to work really well on me so I had put it on really thick, so my arms took longer to dry then Joy’s. Finally I just gave up and stared to wash off the nasty stuff (that is what I started to call it after smelling it for so long) only to find that it was making the tub turn the same lovely color of mud green. Then when we stared to try to wash the tub it wouldn’t come off. I was thinking about how fast we could get to Wal-Mart and back with something to clean it with. Joy was trying to come up with a plan of how to explain the mess to house cleaning. Then I got my great idea for the day. We could use dish soap to clean of the gunk. Because, you see, the night before we had used these bath beads that are filled with oil in the tub and that was making all the green gunk stick to the tub. I have never seen anything work so fast in my life. It took all of the green gunk off in no time at all. We were so relived, we didn’t have to tell housekeeping or go to Wal-Mart. After that we had a very uneventful stay at Branson. By the way we did get to sleep, rest, and watch movies and all that great stuff. We also got to go see one show. I will tell you more about that at a later time. I also have to tell you about our lunch at Lamberts where they throw the rolls at you. I also have to tell you about our shopping trip in downtown Branson.
I really can’t believe myself. I wrote a page long post about my lovely trip last week while I was at work today and then left it there on the disk that I put it on. Some times I really wonder about myself. I think that I might be losing my mind (please no comments about that). I will try to put on tomorrow, but no promises about that because tomorrow is parent teacher conference and I will be working late because of that.
I did it!!! I changed the color of my blog all by myself!!! Yes, I am as proud as can be.
You might wonder were in the world I have been. I will tell you that for a while I wanted to fall off the face of the earth because I felt so bad. I got the what ever it is that is going around here. I felt worse then when I got the stomach flu at Thanksgiving (speaking of that I think I was the only person that lost 7 lbs over ThanksgivingJ). I am finely feeling better!!!!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow. I guess that you could say that SICK was another four letter word.
Snow is another one. All school year I have been praying for a snow day. I didn’t think that we would get one though. Then my boss scheduled them for later on in the school year on days that we really need them. I must say that all of the teachers were very happy about that. Then yesterday I hear the most horrible sound on the window as I was talking on the phone with a friend that by the way has heard all school year about how much I want a snow day. IT WAS SNOW AND ICE!!!!!!! I was a little upset, not a lot just a little. Then I saw the funny side of it. Just think, praying all year to get a snow day then you schedule them for days that you want them and then God gives them to you as a way of saying “I am in control still and am taking care of everything.” So I got up this morning wondering if I was going to work or not. O, by the way I forgot to add that we are taking our SAT tests at school this week which adds to the hilarity of the situation. I turned on the TV first thing to find out what was going to be my fate. Then on the first time through the list of school closings I looked down at the wrong time and missed where my schools name should be. So I had to sit though another round of the list, plus the commercial breaks and all that lovely stuff. To make a log story short we went to school and had a great day there. I am glad that we didn’t have a snow day today. My kids were as well which isn’t normal for kids.
I have a group of kids that feels the responsibility of getting there work done. Also they have a teacher that is constantly telling them about all the work that has to be done. I have been preaching to them about what all has to be done before spring break and they are very worried about getting it all done. I think that might be the reason they were glad they didn’t have to have a snow day now. They also want to wait till when they are scheduled. Like Teacher Like Student ;-).
I started teaching the high school choir the motions to one of the songs we are singing in the spring concert. Some of you know it already. It is “I’m Working Out” the same one that we did in the Children’s Workshop. They were sooooooo surprised!!!! Some of them just about refused. Others took a minute to get use to the idea then they were excited and had fun. The heard part of the whole thing is we had an audience. The administrator, secretary, some of the parents and other students kept looking in at the door. I was cracking up on the inside and trying to keep everything together on the outside. We had to quit before I really had them going like I wanted but O well there is always next time.
Have you ever thought about all the four letter words there are in the English language? I have a lot lately.
The first one that I want to talk about is BALL. Yes ball. You see all year my class has gone through about 6 to 8 kick balls. They go onto the roof, they fly over the fence and get popped, they go into the lake never to be found again, and many other traumatic endings. Last week was the worst. You see we have had the same two balls since Christmas when one of my students gave them to the class as a gift. Well on this fateful week all that changed. Every thing was against those poor balls. There was nothing I could do to change what was going to happen. The wind was very strong those days so the teachers kept trying to change the direction the kids were kicking so that the balls wouldn’t fly over fences and hit other kids on the head. So they went over fences and into other peoples backyards that house very large dogs that are known for biting people instead. We were able to get on of them back because it landed right on the other side of the fence were I could reach it. So I gave it back to the kids telling them to be careful because I wasn’t going go into the backyard to get it. They all answered that they would be careful. Then on of the kids turned and gave the ball the biggest kick he could and we all watched as the ball sailed over the fence (that he was aiming to miss) and got caught on the top of the fence and POPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the kids that were playing with the ball just about cried while I tried not to laugh. You couldn’t have planed it better then that. To pop right after getting it back like that was just so funny to me. Ok, so the next day I was out at recess again and the wind was strong again. This time the kids were playing kick ball (this game only need one ball which is all they have at this point). One of the older kids took his turn and kicked the ball. The only problem is that the ball just kept going and ended up in this pond quit a ways away from where they were playing. I did laugh at that point because I had watched the wind take two balls away from the kids in a way that was so funny. Besides the look on the kids face that had kicked that ball was priceless to me. I mean to see your ball just keep going and going like that would shock any one I think. So we now have no balls in our class room. O well maybe one of these days I will get new ones for my kids.
Another four letter word that I have been thinking about is WAIT. I am having trouble liking this one I must say. You see some times God does things that we don’t understand. He just gives me one job and that is to trust even when I don’t like what I hear from Him. You might be thinking that this is some kind of mindless religion that I follow. No, it isn’t and that is what scars me the most. I know that He only has my best in mind when He asks me to do any thing. I can follow or I can choose my own way and not have the best for my life. I want God’s best even if I have to hear that four letter word again. I will admit that to hear the same four letter word that you have been hearing for the last ten years about some of your biggest dreams is hard. I wanted to here “You get to see your dream fulfilled” this time. Yet I have to trust God that He knows what and when things are best for me. I could always get my way and get ahead of God. Yet in the end I think I will be glad I waited for God’s perfect timing in all my desires. You see God says that if I delight in Him that He will give me the desires of my heart. So even though I don’t like to hear that four letter word I think I will follow it so I get what God want me to have, even if what I want isn’t what God wants me to have. When I wait on Him and get from Him what He want me to have it is always best.
I forgot to write about another car event that I had about a week ago so here it is
OK, Mom and Dad went out of town so grocery shopping was my job. I had also had a meeting after work to go to that had taken longer then I had hoped. Then I forgot my list at work. Of course I didn’t figure that out till I got to the first store on the list. I had to go all the way back to work pick up the list and restart my shopping experience. I could tell that it was turning out to be a not so very great ending to a great day. It took an even longer time to shop then it normally takes me. Thank God my cousin was helping me and did part of the shopping for me. I had finely gotten done only to not be able to find my keys. Now if you know me at all you will know now that this is not something new. I lose my keys regularly, most of the time they are still in the car after I lock and close my car up. So I called my cousin and ask her to meet me at the front of the store (which by the way was right next to the one I was shopping in) and let me use her keys to get in my car. Just a reminder, I had just finished shopping for my family of 9, my shopping cart was full and I had no were to put the groceries because I couldn’t get in my car. So I pushed the still very full cart to the front of the other store and took one last look in my purse and what did I find in my lovely purse, my KEYS!!!!! So I called my cousin and told her thanks but there is no need for her keys and I would see her at home. On the way home the FUN really began for me. I was one exit away from being home an hour after I wanted to be there when I got a flat tire. I was not a happy lady at the moment. I wanted to be home. I wanted to eat. And AAA said that I was on top priority and would be out within an hour to help. What a comfort! I would hate to see how long it would take if you weren’t on top priority!!!! So there I sat hoping to not get hit by someone as they whizzed by me. I then had to take all the groceries out of the trunk and put them in the back seat of my car so the spare could be gotten out when it was time to change the flat. You might be asking “Why didn’t you just change it yourself?” Good question and I will answer it for you. I have never had a flat before when I was by myself and I have only watched a tire be changed a few times in my life I was not going to get out by the side of a dark road and attempt to do something I had never done before when it was light and my parents pay for AAA for me so I won’t have to do things like that. Yes, if I needed to I could change a tire. But as you can see I didn’t need to because this man stopped and helped me change my tire. It was a bit scary at first to have a man who is a complete stranger come up and help me. I just prayed and asked God for protection and got out to help him as best I could. By the way I am very good at holding a flash light for someone. I invited him to church and hope that some day he will come. That night I was so glad to be able to get off the side of the road and get home. I will say for my family’s defense that my cousin and brother pulled up as we finished putting the tire on the car. My brother had some to rescue me by changing my tire for me.
I said all that to say this thank you to all the men that stop and help us women that need all the help we can get!
Have you ever been standing and talking to someone and heard a sound that didn’t belong where you were standing? Well I have!!!! Today in fact! I was standing and talking to the ex-music teacher and I heard this noise that sounded like someone pouring something out in a sink. The only problem with something being poured out in a sink is that there was no sink where I was standing. I turned to see the leftovers from the drink of one of my student pouring out of her book bag, down the wall, and on the floor. It was RED fruit punch! Yes, I got the lovely job of helping her clean up her mess. Thank God the lady I was talking to went and got me the mop and bucket to help me. I hope the wall doesn’t look like it had red punch poured down it.
By the way, I have been saying “Good morning!” to this girl that goes to my school every morning that I see her. Today she finely answered me. It wasn’t a very nice answer but that is coming I just know it is. I hope it comes soon. Thank God she is still nice in music class. It doesn’t bother me how she treats me but it will effect the attitude of the rest of the class.
It is nice to see more then the sad thing that have happened in my life the last weeks. I’m glad I can say that I did that today. O ya, Mom and I were talking today and figured that we have known six people that have died in the last two weeks. Talk about sad! No wonder I was having a tough time seeing the happy side of life.
Hi again! I tell you what some times life gets away for you. This last week felt just like that. I had a dear friend pass away unexpectedly on Monday night. We spent the week helping the widow get ready for the funeral. My dad then had to preach the funeral for one of his best friends. Mom had to watch and help her friend burry her husband. I must say the funny things in life that have always happened to me are still happening but they don’t seem as funny any more. I know they will someday soon again but for right now they aren’t. I hate loosing friends to death. You have a hole in you that was filled by someone. No one can fill that place for that person only that person and when that person is gone that that hole takes time to heal. The bad thing is the hole never goes away. I hate that!!!!! I set and think and wish for one more time to talk to him and ask him questions and listen to him talk to my dad and feed him all his favorite foods (he loved my cooking!). I will never get that chance. I also never get to fulfill the dream of going and working with him in Uganda for a short time. Yet as all these feeling surge through me I know that God had a plan and everything that has happened is a part of that plan. I wish that I knew the plan but I think that if I did I would be freaked out! I keep thinking about this poem. It’s called The Weaver. I would like to share it with you.
The Weaver
My life is but a weaving,
between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Ofttimes he weaveth sorrow,
and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper,
and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent,
and the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas,
and explain the reasons why
The dark threads are as needful
in the skillful weaver’s hand
As threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares,
nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice with Him.
Maybe next time I will be able to share more happy things that happen to me. Thanks for reading.
Have you ever wondered where all your energy goes as you get older? Today I did!!!! At lunch recess I had three kindergarteners playing tag with me. I don’t think I ever was able to get any of them, although every thing was base for them. I would just get to them and then they would touch some thing and say BASE!!!!! And I wouldn’t be able to touch them. I tried to convince them that you can only have one base. Let me tell you, you can’t convince a kindergartener on anything that they don’t want to be convinced about. I did get my exercise today because of those little ones.
Music was fun today as well. I am about to teach them the actions to one of the songs that we are singing for the Spring Spectacular. I can’t wait to see the High School’s face when they find out that ,yes they are doing them too. Yes, they don’t know yet that they will be doing this. It will be so much fun to tell them! Maybe next week we will get started on that. Don’t worry about it will tell you all about how it goes with them if it is worth the telling.
Hi! I am one of those kind of people that have funny things happen all the time. I have been told that these kind of things just don’t happen to most people so I need to share what happens to me with others. I guess that this is the first of many more posts about my simple yet very funny life.
I hope that this blog will make your life a little brighter because of what happens to me in my life!
